Glow

A gentle daylight peeks through the curtain
A shimmering gold painting your paper skin
That glows in the dark of the cabin we’re in
Like fireflies dancing, again and again.
You’re peaceful as ever and beautiful as always
We’ll wander the floors and search through the hallways
And dance on the deck while it moves with the waves
Rocking relentlessly, day after glorious day.

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to mean nothing, everything

when I said that you were beautiful, I meant it
and it made me know that I had never truly
meant anything before in my entire life

when I told you that my heart was yours, I meant it
and I felt in that vulnerability a freedom that
was like flying, untethered and unabashedly carefree

when I asked you not to leave, I meant it
and it was in my pleading that my heart imploded
leaving my blood to evaporate, turned to steam from my anger

when I said that you meant everything to me, I meant it
but you never meant a damn thing you said.

youth.

her love makes me feel like a child again
like two cups, connected with string at both ends
we find joy in the streets on a long summer day
and we dance in the rain, wash our problems away.

she is the promise of freedom that comes with July
and the grass stains on blue jeans, that look in her eye
gives me jitters like Christmas Day, running downstairs
to find presents abounding, abandon all of my cares.

I’m convinced that the fountain of youth is her smile
and that her laugh can help anyone breathe for a while
I only wish she could know how the tip of her tongue
forms the words that envelop me, make me feel young.

inadequacy

I filled a notebook full of days that I owed you
and wrote songs about the way I wanted to
escape myself and be your wholehearted infinity
but was simply enthralled in your false divinity

and I should’ve known the moment that I heard
your shameless infidelity, exposed with every word
but I wanted so excruciatingly badly to stay true
despite the fact that I couldn’t expect the same from you

to this day I feel the inadequacy, it shapes my bones
like a blade wielded by skillful hands, it hones
my fitfull sleeps, my empty nights spent far away
thinking of how I once thought maybe you would stay

my heart mistaken, still cannot throw off the chains
because your venom still courses through my veins
but I’m fighting every single day to better myself
and that’s why I finally took your ring off the shelf.

pillow talk

stranded on a satin ocean that bears no relief
I hear sirens that call from the crest of the waves
for I haven’t seen your face in eleven days and I
still can’t fall asleep when you’re away.
if this bed were the ocean, you’d be the stars
so close in reflection but so very far and I
still find your hair on the pillow you left
just a piece of a piece of you I now protect
in my fitful attempts to find sleep every night
while the infant dawn starts to show its traces of light
and I think of how your light could cut through my night
and how you are my moon and for now, out of sight.