inadequacy

I filled a notebook full of days that I owed you
and wrote songs about the way I wanted to
escape myself and be your wholehearted infinity
but was simply enthralled in your false divinity

and I should’ve known the moment that I heard
your shameless infidelity, exposed with every word
but I wanted so excruciatingly badly to stay true
despite the fact that I couldn’t expect the same from you

to this day I feel the inadequacy, it shapes my bones
like a blade wielded by skillful hands, it hones
my fitfull sleeps, my empty nights spent far away
thinking of how I once thought maybe you would stay

my heart mistaken, still cannot throw off the chains
because your venom still courses through my veins
but I’m fighting every single day to better myself
and that’s why I finally took your ring off the shelf.

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